Why the enneagram helps you know why you act the way you do

One of the paradoxes of life is that even if you are the person you spend the most time with, you still don’t know and don’t know yourself. why do you act the way you do. How many times have you asked yourself why you did (or stopped doing) something that made you uncomfortable? Or the reasons why you repeat the same mistake over and over again? You can go back and forth, or resign yourself to “I’m a disaster.” Or you can also try to find out what is behind the lack of coherence between what you want and what you are doing.

This is a draft of the Enneagram, a map that describes nine basic personality types known as “eneatypes” “and helps us understand the different patterns of behavior and motivations of people,” explains Sonia Díaz Rois, an expert Enneagram coach. Why do we think, feel and behave the way we do?

What is the Enneagram

“This method of classification offers us a good excuse to begin to examine our own personality and observe us deeply. It helps us identify and understand our habitual coping strategies in life, the ones we use without realizing it, on autopilot, as well as the strategies of others.”

This identification of what’s on autopilot that drives you out of your lane—even when you intuitively know you’re not doing well—can be a starting point for you to become aware of moments when you let yourself be carried away by inertia.

Uncovering the reasons that lead you to do this is work that requires depth and introspection. “From the moment we are born, we create an emotional reactive construct, based on the traumas and frustrations of our childhood. This construct is what shapes our personality based on defense mechanisms we have incorporated as we grow In this way we develop what is known as a mask or character, and this forces us to go on autopilot and act “without thinking”.

How the Enneagram can help you

Enneagram personality types (eneatypes) are described by characteristics and behavior patterns,” which allows us to understand the motivations, fears, and core desires of each archetype. Although we all have everything and know that each person is unique and unrepeatable, the enneagram helps us observe ourselves from the specific traits typical of each personality type.

Likewise, he continues, “it helps us discover those urges that keep coming up to protect and defend ourselves from something that may no longer be necessary. From this knowledge we can update our resources adapt better to the environment.”

It can also help you understand that you often act from an overly rigid personality pattern, “without evaluating other alternatives and believing that this is the only one.” way of acting, relating and solving problems. Once this behavior is identified, this tool encourages us to expand these behavioral options to be more flexible and effective.”

Can I do it myself?

Although it is about a tool of self-discovery, getting the most out of it can be complicated without the help of a guide. At first, you can “play” the Enneagram with yourself and with other people, but if you want it to really become a tool for identifying patterns – in yourself or in others – and seeing opportunities for improvement, you’ll need a professional to help you. accompany you on your way to avoid certain mistakes:

• Prejudices. The vision we have of one may not be the most realistic. “We usually have a few blind spots. Because of this, out of our own bias, we can identify with the personality type (eneatype) we think we are or would like to be.
• Simplification. Often, when reading the general characteristics of enneatypes, we identify with one of them and stop observing the rest. “Everything we do is this way give us one more label “perhaps caricature our behavior and do nothing to go further, to incorporate new strategies to make our lives and relationships easier.”